Rooh..

mehfoos..

Mehfoos..


Wo jhula bahon ka, aur ma ke sehlate geet
Wo pehle kadam mai paayi zameen, aur aakhon mai mehfoos huyi preet




Thaam ke rakh sakun un lamhon ko sada
Dil mai rahe bus kuch aisi hi reet..

Suna nahi kabhi shayad, sataya kyun tumko ma har pal
Sun ne ko wo daant o ma ab tarse hai mann har ghadi

Shaam hote ghar laut aaon, ki thi ma kosish kai
Sun loon mai teri baaten sabhi, lagi rahe mujhe lagan ek wohi

Tan se badh jayenge, manzar na bhi rahe ek saa sada o ma
Tere kisson ka itminaan par, mann se rakhega chota
Chahe mai jaon jahan..


Apni manzil ki aur badhun mai to bus tera hi saya le chalun
Aakash chune ki teri mannat ko shapath maan ke jee chalun..

Aari se kaate na kate jaise preet ka bandhan koi
chup rehne se rok na sake mann ki baaton ko koyi

bhulon na apni zamin apne kul ki reet ko mai ma kabhi
panah paye meri rooh mai teri wo pyaar ki chavvi sabhi..

tan se badhen hai ma, mann se hai chotten abhi
aaj bhi maan logi na har ek zidd meri..

Wo jhula bahon ka , wo sehlate geet
Wo pehle kadam mai paayi zameen, aur aakhon mai mehfoos huyi preet


Tan se badh jayenge, mann se rahenge chote hi
Jo bhi kahun mai , man hi logi na aakhir mai wahi

Sahil si is duniya mai, bhool na jayun apni maati ki Mahek ko kahin
Bula lena apne paas o ma bhul jaon agar khud ko mai kabhi..

Kahun kuch to inkar nahi karogi o ma
Aakhon mai kisi bhi nami ko kabhi panah nahi dogi na..

tan se badhen hai ma, mann se hai chotten abhi
aaj bhi maan logi na har ek zidd meri..

Wo jhula bahon ka , wo sehlate geet
Wo pehle kadam mai paayi zameen, aur aakhon mai mehfoos huyi preet



Akanksha..

The Mystical Night..

Some memories arise from the past drops,

where a past drop always drowns..

It was almost midnight when we heard our camping coach wake us all up& get ready for a night game. Almost every girl was half sleepy, some of them moony(as they had been up singing songs), some of them feeling hazy,& yet as we were asked to get our torches& assemble near the fireplace.

Narkanda, some 50-60 kms far away from Shimla, is like a small village, made beautiful by silent rocks,a soft coldness in the air of night essences the huts & the hearts of people who live there.People seemed as real as the impression created by those first steps walked upon by a kid on a fresh rain water possessing sand.

Beauty of this world lies in being real Our Own Self..

We all assembled& four groups were formed. Since it was a camping place, no other dwellings were to be seen anywhere around.

No, it was not scary. The darkness often allures. It was quiet, shy, mystical, hidden, accepting & beautiful.

All the groups were given a rope &we tied it around the waist because we were soon to start a game &roam around among the rocky forest with just a guiding slip.Yes, it was Treasure Hunt.But not the usual one.

We were guided to an altogether different path, it was a new place for us & it was night. We all initially refused saying that its not safe, yet the silence & those eyes so sure of our coach didn’t let us go back to sleep& It was almost one o’clock then. Watches were allowed but no cell phones. Self help is what our coach wanted us to believe in.Teachers were unaware, which made us all grow more curious.

He ordered us to leave& we were supposed to find our way back to the camp.Finally we left the camp area.

We were excited as it was all dark & stepped down on the road.Other groups were directed in different directions, so we had no idea about them.
Our slip read:Right Purity knows water, water doesn’t . Near water, underneath some weight, white words written.

We knew that we have to find some water body,to find our next clue. So we walked a little more & then slowly climbed on the rocks to our right and after half an hour of climbing we saw a fall finally.

Apart from the anxiety to find our next clue,nature was ever so beautiful & night made it shine in the silence of dreams, as everyone slept comfortably, night preserved nature,its fresh essence, leaves covered with dew drops,wild strawberry plants growing on the edge of the path we walked on to, the roses,composed &still

I was busy noticing,while the other two girls found one slip under the stone. the 2nd slip suggested that the water was not safe for drinking.Everything was easy &beautiful up till now.

We hardly knew that the words on that slip would take us to a place we had never thought of. It was scary..
The second slip read ‘market area,climb many stairs, twin, earthen pot peepal tree. worship.candles’

We all climbed to more height and from the top we saw the lighted market area & we started looking for some temple probably or a church as candles were mentioned.But a peepal tree in a church? We were confused.By now the time was almost 3a.m. as we had to climb down with the help of the rope. It took a long time. And required a great deal of patience and strength.

We had been practicing rock climbing, so it came to us like a test. Luckily we all passed but it was scary to a certain extent as we tied the rope to the trees by ourselves& chose which tree would be the best.

We saw some people but they helped little.We saw only one temple, chose the right side stairs to go up there but it was closed& had no earthen pot anywhere& peepal tree. We were losing hope by now. As we roamed around it was 4:30 by the watch. we climbed down& were tired.

We sat by the side of the road to relax. The sky was preparing itself to wake up and we could see sky brightening up slowly..It seemed like we were the last ones on the earth . Since we had not found our next clue we had to wait before we cud ask someone& walk further. But all along the way we felt that our coach was somewhere round the corner.& whenever we sat down to relax &were talking or joking around we felt guilty.

It was a funny moment to acknowledge that even happiness and relaxation can bring a feeling of guilt within.

But then we could have done nothing better than being at peace & not get panicky. Time passed as we all talked. Somewhere A beautiful bond was assured between all of us as we climbed down the individual differences.
After a long wait we saw a couple coming in our direction.

Their mien & language suggested that they belonged to that place. As they walked by we asked them (they knew a little english and no hindi)
‘some temple or church in this area that you know?’ mahek asked.The man stared at the lady & said>a church!Sure know!
Can you please tell us the way to the church? I asked
We going there.Can take there as well > the lady replied as they both blinked in consensus after some minutes .

Everyone was happy. I was kinda suspicious &suggested that we should ask more people but they were restless enough to get back to the camp that they neglected &said> stop worrying it would all be fine.
How I wish it went all fine! But.. only if..

To be continued..

akanksha..

Aarzoo..

Aarzoo..

Sapnon ke aakash tale, kalpana ki hawaon se door

Palkon ke saaye tale, nazar ki parchaiyon se door..

Ehsaas ke kadmon tale, aahaton ki dhakan se door

Aawazon ke daayre tale, raat ki arzoo se door..

Jise dhoondti hai neegahain , kya wahi ho tum..

girti baarish ki boondon tale, badalon ki chadar se door

behti hawaon ki narmiyon tale, jagti huyi kamna se door..

jaagte huye armanon ke tale, soti huyi jannat se door

saath nibhane ki chaah tale, har subha ki arzoo se door.

Jise dhoondti hai neegahain, kya wahi ho tum..

Bhawna ki bheeni khushbu tale, umang ki us raah se door

Jeewan ki mannaton tale, dooriyon ki deewaron se door

Chahaton ki muskaan ke tale, sundar se us ghar se door

Khushi ke har sagar tale, khamoshi ki arzoo se door..

Jise dhhondti hai neegahain, kya wahi ho tum..

Thamti saason ke tale, geeli un neegahon se door

Jise dhoondti hai neegahain , kya wahi ho tum..

Jeene ki sabhi aashaon tale, muskurahat ki kiran se door

Jise dhoondti hai neegahain, kya wahi ho tum..

Komal chandni ke tale, nisha ki mand mehek se door

Jise dhoondti hai neegahain, kya wahi ho tum..

Arzoo ki is chaah tale, Arzoo ki in sabhi arzuon se door

Jise dhoondti hai neegahain, kya wahi ho tum…

Akanksha ..

Ps: This is my first attempt to write something in hindi.

I know I suck at it, nevertheless.. I tried..to give word to my feelings..

Dreams as our guiding language, past life, and their relation with the present day life..


Does past life really exist? Do dreams convey anything that could actually help us in reality? Do they affect our present in any way?

Well, after conducting a little research on thought patterns of people and what they think about re-birth, dreams as a directing language and their importance in our present day life, across delhi and chandigarh, I got a mixed response, around 50% people(age group 25-45) strongly believed in existence of past life and how, what we did in our past life might affect our present life as well however they claimed of dreaming irregularly, while only 30 % people(age group 16-25) supported the notion of existence of any such thing as past life but they did show a willingness to be interested in dreams analysis, and then 20% included those who said, ‘we don’t really care’.

With the ongoing activities in our life, we don’t really care of what we did in past and if our past doings resulted in what we are today, with whom and what we possess.

And yet when life’s uncertain ways are suddenly revealed to us taking our loved ones away from us, then a normal tendency to attain sadness in our expressions takes over us and then people naturally tend to think all over again about the person lost and how their life has been unfortunate enough to lose them.

As we are brought closer to having belief in some power above, such unfortunate happenings might make us look at life in a different perspective altogether.

Sadness when pursued attains a fixity.


As I talked to some of the people who said they take their dreams seriously, I was in a fever pitch as they told many dreams that actually came true in their lives. From my personal experience with my dream cycle, I wanted to believe them. They were not sure although that their dreams always suggest something or do come true and yet they agreed that they do provide a direction in one way or the other. Since there has been no evidence for dreams being our guiding language, we can only rely on our senses and without biasing our thoughts can justify our dreams after the happening of events.

Yes, its not essential that we need to seek a meaning in our dreams before anything happens in our life. For starting off with the dream analysis, we can just notice things happening around in our life and then see if the dreams that you saw previously indicated anything related or resembling to what happened in your life.

Some of the people who liked writing, suggested on maintaining a dream diary. Although, only a few people confessed of dreaming regularly.

For others job tension, hectic days, family concerns and other important aspects lead to a fitful sleep. And once a while they dreamt and that too they are unable to recall as they wake up.

Nor that analyzing our dreams and understanding them is the quintessence of living life perfectly; its meaning and chase interests those who dream regularly and have felt them coming true right there in front of their eyes.

Only a few knew about past life therapy which aims to make you remember what all happened in your past life, I personally don’t believe in this, but dreams yes, have been a guiding language for me, that made me conduct this research.

It was interesting. And yet as amazing as the idea of getting to know about the future through dreams sound, its scary as well, coz dreams are not always good.

They are relative to death as well. Unfortunately, I have seen two such dreams so far where my two close friends lost their grandfathers and I knew about it. But could never tell, thinking that I might just hurt them or make them lose their hope that they will recover. It kills you to acknowledge that you saw them dying and could do nothing. I could do nothing.

Dreams give no surety.

All starts and ends with a belief.


Till the time you believe, everything exists..

However am curious to know how many of us here have actually felt the dreams coming true and if they believe in dreams as a guiding language.

Akanksha Chaudhary..

rains..

rains! yes, they are finally here..

Clouds.. dark..yet bright as they can lighten up my old beliefs in love and life once again..

settled and determined.. yet as they move calmly bearing their identities.. they always return to me.. hug me with all their care as they cover the entire house.. a domiciliary visit, expresses the air in its jealous constitution..

coming back home.. it actually was..

as the drops started to fall, clouds, ingenuous, were flown a little away from my dwelling. Air, innocuous, suggested me to keep away from feeling any care or new drops of the new rainy sky.

And yet provided a medium to those drops to fall on me.. allowed the rain to come down and wash away my tears.. everything is meant to be cared for in this world.. beings, birds, trees, property, identities, relations, possessions, everything needs a careful eye.. to stay preserved.. nature is one holy link to this bonding .. it suggests, attempts, display and direct..


as the trees were made fresh again, as the flowers were touched with love, as my feelings were freshened in that rain if hope, as nature has once again touched my soul.. it brought me closer to my own self of volition.. to that self.. which recognized love, care and beliefs in the lord above..

something’s blindside the important aspects of our life, self-less care, though easy to say than follow surely lets us feel the real meaning of love in our lives.. not a word it is, that you can just say and forget and then feel again.. its something that stays unsaid.. untold.. conveyed only through eyes of your heart..

as my schoolmates came over that rainy day, we all danced away in the rain, after so long, I could feel the kid in me, that same kid who would dance around, joyfully, without even any slightest consciousness of who’s watching you.. music that we played nurtured our senses.. as we all conversed our lives listening to music.. lying on the lawn.. under those shady trees.. we realized what life is.. and what friendship is.. it was beautiful.

Shubha Mudgil’s ‘ab ke saawan aise barse..’ was our all time favorite and also ‘garaj baras saawan ghirayoo..’ many songs we listened all lighted up our spirits as the rains drops fell.. and made us all feel vibrant and ever so aware of ourselves and our beliefs and our lives!!
I made my friend listen to this b’ful song from the movie..phir milenge.. ‘jeene ke ishaare mil gaye..bichre the kinare mil gaye..many times..
love this song..

As the clouds rested in the clear sky , sun came out shyly, all silent and saffron holding the hands of those grey clouds.. being with love and in love, even sun silences its ire of fire.. love always stays..



Akanksha..

not glowing alone..

akanksha..

lighting up my hidden self..

akanksha..

after>> the silent possession of those rainy clouds..

akanksha..

Miami pics..

these are some of the pics my cousin took.. i love clouds so much..

akanksha..

ummm..clouds.....

the treeline of the cloudy sky..

can i move on where they fly on..

or do they always follow the words of my eyes..

akanksha..

livin by the sand.. i hope they fly like that too sumday..

akanksha..

if water cud bear my reflection of love forever.i wud stay in that reflection forever....

sum new light? or sum light of the grown up past?

akanksha..

This life's like this...

This Life’s Like this..

No Body’s A Real Loner..

She held my hand with a great delight and he came towards me with that beam of happiness shining in his eyes. Yes, I was a stranger to them, still they held my hand.. and recognized my true concern.

Happiness knows no relations..

They were called ‘mentally handicapped’ by the so called ‘healthy’ beings. What does it take being a healthy human being? Having intellect? Pride? Confidence? Thoughts? Senses? Rationality? Lifestyle? Job? Self-Reliance? Except for having ‘perfect’ senses they have it all..

The happiness that they feel in their ignorance of perfection sometimes appear to be more satisfying than what we as conscious individuals appear to experience.

Ignorance is a sweet quilt of satisfaction..

Working with the people of Muskaan, an NGO in Delhi, for mentally and physically handicapped children, my menorah was lighted up by their spirits and its warm flame still lights up my heart when I get sad for little things in life.. How small our problems seem to be when I think of my friends there.. how they enjoy life to the fullest.. how mellifluous their whispers sound.. when they converse and joke around..

It’s not that they don’t have feelings, even they get engaged in a melee every now and then but someone amongst them always comes up to settle everything.. they recognize every one who works with them so well.

Recognition, of any sort, is perhaps something that attaches us more with the people we work with..

I usually get attached to people whose beliefs match up with mine real soon, and yet I had never thought that people there at the NGO would ever miss me when I am gone.. and yet as we all went there to say them goodbye the last day of our college, Khushbu, a beautiful girl of twelve, who’s always smiling, held my hand, made me sit on the stairs near the playground, and called me didi for the first time, I swear like a new ‘relation- lore’ has been handed to me just now..

She had her face in the opposite direction and as always never faced me all the time as she talked.. she is shy.. she told me how much she would miss laughing and playing with me.. and as I hugged her, a tear fell on my hand.. I was quite. I looked at her, kissed her on the forehead, and promised to come back soon. I stayed with her late till eve until her parents came to pick her up.

Whenever I think of her now, those eyes, wet and soft shaped keep coming to my mind.. Some moments are so precious that they chase you no matter where you might go, because that real care captures your heart and heart never stops reminding.. Now I hope that she has not forgotten me.. I am sure she hasn’t.. and even if she has, I am more than willing to spend as much time as I can to re-live that joy, innocent laughter and her kid-like talks.

I miss her..

Some people, situations, moments, glance, conversation, touch, feeling, often leave a strange ‘forever’ kind of impression in our lives. It touches and changes us in many ways.

People we let in, in our life, can either change us, or change themselves or just silently hold our hand accepting us the way we are and love and stay..

Akanksha..

The Mystical Night..

shhh....

The Roseate Drops of Newness..

Akanksha..

Hmmmmmmmm.........

Akanksha..

A New Beginning...

Akanksha..

Fading Countenance of Certain Expectations in Life..

Akanksha..

The Thought Lane..

Stepping anxiously up and down the First Thought Lane..

Heart suddenly stopped seeing the
proscenium space..
saw you standing there
ever so anxious to draw back
the curtain that would reveal me
I was but the motion, the eternal stage
Of your expression..
You stood over all above in the
Forefront..
The very initiation of my fantasy

My head bowed, silent like the sky I stood..
Nothing you said but saw, cherished and blessed the beauty..
Shy, willing, we both stood..
‘you will be loved’ came the sudden air’s
Emollient reply..
We were touched by the ambience
but said nothing..
no words could ever make me speak but silence
You knew..


Stepping smilingly with you on the Fourth Thought Lane..

Heart is awestruck in mirth
seeing us romping among the crowd..
disturbing with a greatest delight
everyone else, till dark we played..
little did I know being an obstacle
in each other’s path can ever be so exciting..
I tried searching for bowed heads, silent moments,
shy secret glances..
god! Could fine none!
Twenty four hours, and everything was changed
Between us..

standing with lots of candies were you
on the rostrum..
laughed out loud then both of us..
when the only reward, prize or epithet
that could ever be given to you
was known by everyone else to be
ME
‘I will trouble you as long as I can’, I said..
Sipping the rose’ through
Those smiling lips..
How they laugh! How they pretend!
How damn happy!
muttered the ones against love
kids in love can never be damned
by anyone
defended our lord..

No pretense can ever hold me back
But a strong kid-like arrogance in love
You knew..


Stepping lovingly on the Eighth Thought Lane….

I experienced heart beating in a new way..
seeing you living all in me
I was heightened till eternity to live
Seeing you dwelling near me
I was brought closer to reality..
managed I to re-live those kidding
exciting and teasing moments..
waiting am I for the second set of thought lane
to get constructed

no, not a palace, but a content walled
deeply bricked, soft-warmly colored, house of our memories
made prosperous with beautiful trees.. and innocent shrubs
seasoning it with lots of fresh love very other season..
No grand empty mansion could ever attract me, but a
Dimly lit, all embracing
house with your presence
You knew…

Akanksha..

(no comments please.. :) !!)

Shadows of silence..

Vacant silence stays.. Our night has come..

Strange as it might be this silence that grows
Meaning oh sound, is usually opposite of voice that roars

Somewhere near I can feel the camaraderie
Living in established group is everyone here that laughs

Happiness is displayed in their sweet callous
Structured houses

Silk, not any calico, holds their precious individual
Emotions..

Exaggeration clarifies their naked truth of love
And lord..

Satisfaction ultimately has to come from the riches they adorn
Nevertheless, meaning oh justification,
is usually opposite of the all the worldly words..


Reminding breeze stays.. Our night has come..

adorable as it might be this smile that grows
meaning oh happiness, is usually opposite of that mirth in halves..

somewhere in a reflection a cacophony is re-lived
a confession is whispered through the cajoling
voice of the past zephyr

some tears are castigated by the wiping hands
of a distant touch..

a beautiful abyss of relations is locked
with the sand of the present indifference

someone’s cagey is all known in the dark
little pond of the shady trees..

for the key of revelation, baptize your thoughts
leaving
emotions, of every sort,
nameless, unconditional..

nevertheless, meaning, oh key
is usually opposite of all the openings..


Passionate complexity returns, Night has grown

Quieter as it might be this self that grows
Meaning, oh age, is usually opposite of the mien that falls..

Somewhere a gratis scripture of mantras to live
Is handed over..

Turning by the history found the dark richness of night in pages
Blotted with silent shadows were those spaces looked upon..

Fake in whatever small proportion is that partially
Witnessed social camaraderie

Reflected in your self was that cacophony
Well-sighted, aimed to mock cruelly..
Willing to capture the most sweetest joy
In someone’s eyes..

Freedom with strange yearnings are never
Given without gratis
They rise with exchanged glances..

Moments of opposite meaning elemental shadows
Can never be touched
You run, they disappear..
You chase, they grow stretch out
Of reality..

Only when you sit down calm
Can a shadow of spent past
Be cherished by our thoughts..

Complexity in emotions is inherent
Inherent in thoughtfulness is a simplicity..

Nevertheless, meaning of night
Lies in the
Simplicity of a complexity..

Eyes are thus opened, Night prefers to stay..

Akanksha..

Cute/Crazy/Beautiful

The zephyr of the moment eddies

up till the expectations..

burgeons it thus admist

some new way, a coincidence..

sub-rosa,

an association at first glance

is assured by the calm delight

of your sweet alacrity..

As words were exchanged

the first day of college

your steps of friendship

silently marked the space

grounded our unusual bonding

segued on thus through

that pleasant moment..

my association..

has been held by us silently

strong still..

as the first day passed

the soul of friendship

named you Cute..

The water of hope swirled down

reaching the sea of new care

drops of affection and promise

emerges afresh with time..

drops like rain, often have mirth

testing times my friend thus

proves their worth..

Only a few gets grounded

Only a few are bonded

drops of truth don't always

have to fall..

They rise through the eyes

ever so thoughtful..

I saw you,

Jovial, blithe, considerate..

you always appeared..

hidden somewhere in you

was a radical mien..

reflective of sadness in known

realities of the other dry drops..

serene essence of the showered sand

captured me, spreading, throughout

essenced you as Beautiful..

The sky of the passing times blinked

showed me a white fluffy cloud

a cloud of exuberance with sun's warmth,

it was a cute-crazy kid..

romping among the big clouds of self

trusted it many a times in hope alone

the promising clouds of rain..

but thought it still that

"Rain ultimately falls"

soon it realized the fake, the better..

I saw it all, I noticed..

realization brought the previous lonely

drop back to you..

assured that drop in silence of night

to retain the wetness of its care forever..

het up, exultant, you embraced

my silence..

the kid, so sweet in you

makes me feel like home among

the strangers..time to time..

accepting one's silent understanding

than regular words..

is no easy task my mate..

you nurtured my care with a smile..

the softness of emotions of an individual

in you, of that sweet aiming high kid in you..

made me call you ..Cute..Crazy..Beautiful..

SKY remains forever..

and so shall my silent care and blessing..

Akanksha..

Exams!!

I will soon return with my poems n all beautiful literary stuff...

but for now ..final exams are here...but college is fun too!!

had hindi today!! and well... since weare out of touch ..

it sucks..to read through the origin of hindi.. oh well..though i wud love to

read poems n all..

most of the time i was redaing Wuthering Heights...its nice..

anyways, shall update with my usual poems soon...nothing..

can really keep me away from my dear novels...n late night write-ups...

No Act, No deed,
No emotion, No consequence
No future , No newness
And everything that's living never remains
unseen
by the sky
it stays
it lives
it breates

n
has seen ages since the creation..

night bears all, night bears none
yet its ecstasy can always be won..
night knows all, night calls all
yet in its mystical lap we always wanna fall..

 

prayer is natural
spirituality is inherent
like clouds are the same in the same vast sky,
so is a kid..
he knows what he like and dislikes right teh moment he is born..
soul is ineherent,
change continous
n
gradual..