if water cud bear my reflection of love forever.i wud stay in that reflection forever....

sum new light? or sum light of the grown up past?

akanksha..

This life's like this...

This Life’s Like this..

No Body’s A Real Loner..

She held my hand with a great delight and he came towards me with that beam of happiness shining in his eyes. Yes, I was a stranger to them, still they held my hand.. and recognized my true concern.

Happiness knows no relations..

They were called ‘mentally handicapped’ by the so called ‘healthy’ beings. What does it take being a healthy human being? Having intellect? Pride? Confidence? Thoughts? Senses? Rationality? Lifestyle? Job? Self-Reliance? Except for having ‘perfect’ senses they have it all..

The happiness that they feel in their ignorance of perfection sometimes appear to be more satisfying than what we as conscious individuals appear to experience.

Ignorance is a sweet quilt of satisfaction..

Working with the people of Muskaan, an NGO in Delhi, for mentally and physically handicapped children, my menorah was lighted up by their spirits and its warm flame still lights up my heart when I get sad for little things in life.. How small our problems seem to be when I think of my friends there.. how they enjoy life to the fullest.. how mellifluous their whispers sound.. when they converse and joke around..

It’s not that they don’t have feelings, even they get engaged in a melee every now and then but someone amongst them always comes up to settle everything.. they recognize every one who works with them so well.

Recognition, of any sort, is perhaps something that attaches us more with the people we work with..

I usually get attached to people whose beliefs match up with mine real soon, and yet I had never thought that people there at the NGO would ever miss me when I am gone.. and yet as we all went there to say them goodbye the last day of our college, Khushbu, a beautiful girl of twelve, who’s always smiling, held my hand, made me sit on the stairs near the playground, and called me didi for the first time, I swear like a new ‘relation- lore’ has been handed to me just now..

She had her face in the opposite direction and as always never faced me all the time as she talked.. she is shy.. she told me how much she would miss laughing and playing with me.. and as I hugged her, a tear fell on my hand.. I was quite. I looked at her, kissed her on the forehead, and promised to come back soon. I stayed with her late till eve until her parents came to pick her up.

Whenever I think of her now, those eyes, wet and soft shaped keep coming to my mind.. Some moments are so precious that they chase you no matter where you might go, because that real care captures your heart and heart never stops reminding.. Now I hope that she has not forgotten me.. I am sure she hasn’t.. and even if she has, I am more than willing to spend as much time as I can to re-live that joy, innocent laughter and her kid-like talks.

I miss her..

Some people, situations, moments, glance, conversation, touch, feeling, often leave a strange ‘forever’ kind of impression in our lives. It touches and changes us in many ways.

People we let in, in our life, can either change us, or change themselves or just silently hold our hand accepting us the way we are and love and stay..

Akanksha..

The Mystical Night..

shhh....

The Roseate Drops of Newness..

Akanksha..

Hmmmmmmmm.........

Akanksha..

A New Beginning...

Akanksha..

Fading Countenance of Certain Expectations in Life..

Akanksha..

The Thought Lane..

Stepping anxiously up and down the First Thought Lane..

Heart suddenly stopped seeing the
proscenium space..
saw you standing there
ever so anxious to draw back
the curtain that would reveal me
I was but the motion, the eternal stage
Of your expression..
You stood over all above in the
Forefront..
The very initiation of my fantasy

My head bowed, silent like the sky I stood..
Nothing you said but saw, cherished and blessed the beauty..
Shy, willing, we both stood..
‘you will be loved’ came the sudden air’s
Emollient reply..
We were touched by the ambience
but said nothing..
no words could ever make me speak but silence
You knew..


Stepping smilingly with you on the Fourth Thought Lane..

Heart is awestruck in mirth
seeing us romping among the crowd..
disturbing with a greatest delight
everyone else, till dark we played..
little did I know being an obstacle
in each other’s path can ever be so exciting..
I tried searching for bowed heads, silent moments,
shy secret glances..
god! Could fine none!
Twenty four hours, and everything was changed
Between us..

standing with lots of candies were you
on the rostrum..
laughed out loud then both of us..
when the only reward, prize or epithet
that could ever be given to you
was known by everyone else to be
ME
‘I will trouble you as long as I can’, I said..
Sipping the rose’ through
Those smiling lips..
How they laugh! How they pretend!
How damn happy!
muttered the ones against love
kids in love can never be damned
by anyone
defended our lord..

No pretense can ever hold me back
But a strong kid-like arrogance in love
You knew..


Stepping lovingly on the Eighth Thought Lane….

I experienced heart beating in a new way..
seeing you living all in me
I was heightened till eternity to live
Seeing you dwelling near me
I was brought closer to reality..
managed I to re-live those kidding
exciting and teasing moments..
waiting am I for the second set of thought lane
to get constructed

no, not a palace, but a content walled
deeply bricked, soft-warmly colored, house of our memories
made prosperous with beautiful trees.. and innocent shrubs
seasoning it with lots of fresh love very other season..
No grand empty mansion could ever attract me, but a
Dimly lit, all embracing
house with your presence
You knew…

Akanksha..

(no comments please.. :) !!)

Shadows of silence..

Vacant silence stays.. Our night has come..

Strange as it might be this silence that grows
Meaning oh sound, is usually opposite of voice that roars

Somewhere near I can feel the camaraderie
Living in established group is everyone here that laughs

Happiness is displayed in their sweet callous
Structured houses

Silk, not any calico, holds their precious individual
Emotions..

Exaggeration clarifies their naked truth of love
And lord..

Satisfaction ultimately has to come from the riches they adorn
Nevertheless, meaning oh justification,
is usually opposite of the all the worldly words..


Reminding breeze stays.. Our night has come..

adorable as it might be this smile that grows
meaning oh happiness, is usually opposite of that mirth in halves..

somewhere in a reflection a cacophony is re-lived
a confession is whispered through the cajoling
voice of the past zephyr

some tears are castigated by the wiping hands
of a distant touch..

a beautiful abyss of relations is locked
with the sand of the present indifference

someone’s cagey is all known in the dark
little pond of the shady trees..

for the key of revelation, baptize your thoughts
leaving
emotions, of every sort,
nameless, unconditional..

nevertheless, meaning, oh key
is usually opposite of all the openings..


Passionate complexity returns, Night has grown

Quieter as it might be this self that grows
Meaning, oh age, is usually opposite of the mien that falls..

Somewhere a gratis scripture of mantras to live
Is handed over..

Turning by the history found the dark richness of night in pages
Blotted with silent shadows were those spaces looked upon..

Fake in whatever small proportion is that partially
Witnessed social camaraderie

Reflected in your self was that cacophony
Well-sighted, aimed to mock cruelly..
Willing to capture the most sweetest joy
In someone’s eyes..

Freedom with strange yearnings are never
Given without gratis
They rise with exchanged glances..

Moments of opposite meaning elemental shadows
Can never be touched
You run, they disappear..
You chase, they grow stretch out
Of reality..

Only when you sit down calm
Can a shadow of spent past
Be cherished by our thoughts..

Complexity in emotions is inherent
Inherent in thoughtfulness is a simplicity..

Nevertheless, meaning of night
Lies in the
Simplicity of a complexity..

Eyes are thus opened, Night prefers to stay..

Akanksha..

Cute/Crazy/Beautiful

The zephyr of the moment eddies

up till the expectations..

burgeons it thus admist

some new way, a coincidence..

sub-rosa,

an association at first glance

is assured by the calm delight

of your sweet alacrity..

As words were exchanged

the first day of college

your steps of friendship

silently marked the space

grounded our unusual bonding

segued on thus through

that pleasant moment..

my association..

has been held by us silently

strong still..

as the first day passed

the soul of friendship

named you Cute..

The water of hope swirled down

reaching the sea of new care

drops of affection and promise

emerges afresh with time..

drops like rain, often have mirth

testing times my friend thus

proves their worth..

Only a few gets grounded

Only a few are bonded

drops of truth don't always

have to fall..

They rise through the eyes

ever so thoughtful..

I saw you,

Jovial, blithe, considerate..

you always appeared..

hidden somewhere in you

was a radical mien..

reflective of sadness in known

realities of the other dry drops..

serene essence of the showered sand

captured me, spreading, throughout

essenced you as Beautiful..

The sky of the passing times blinked

showed me a white fluffy cloud

a cloud of exuberance with sun's warmth,

it was a cute-crazy kid..

romping among the big clouds of self

trusted it many a times in hope alone

the promising clouds of rain..

but thought it still that

"Rain ultimately falls"

soon it realized the fake, the better..

I saw it all, I noticed..

realization brought the previous lonely

drop back to you..

assured that drop in silence of night

to retain the wetness of its care forever..

het up, exultant, you embraced

my silence..

the kid, so sweet in you

makes me feel like home among

the strangers..time to time..

accepting one's silent understanding

than regular words..

is no easy task my mate..

you nurtured my care with a smile..

the softness of emotions of an individual

in you, of that sweet aiming high kid in you..

made me call you ..Cute..Crazy..Beautiful..

SKY remains forever..

and so shall my silent care and blessing..

Akanksha..

Exams!!

I will soon return with my poems n all beautiful literary stuff...

but for now ..final exams are here...but college is fun too!!

had hindi today!! and well... since weare out of touch ..

it sucks..to read through the origin of hindi.. oh well..though i wud love to

read poems n all..

most of the time i was redaing Wuthering Heights...its nice..

anyways, shall update with my usual poems soon...nothing..

can really keep me away from my dear novels...n late night write-ups...

No Act, No deed,
No emotion, No consequence
No future , No newness
And everything that's living never remains
unseen
by the sky
it stays
it lives
it breates

n
has seen ages since the creation..

night bears all, night bears none
yet its ecstasy can always be won..
night knows all, night calls all
yet in its mystical lap we always wanna fall..

 

prayer is natural
spirituality is inherent
like clouds are the same in the same vast sky,
so is a kid..
he knows what he like and dislikes right teh moment he is born..
soul is ineherent,
change continous
n
gradual..

 

Sun never really sets..

 

Oh Boy..This Love Has to be You...

Waking up every morning to the that voice of love
Realizing my dream of night in the presence of your words
Lazing around with your excited touch through the whisper of your
cares

Smiling so early along with that first call of the rising sun
Rise to every extent my hopes n desires with that warm rays
Of your new day of my love
Stepping the first like some kid are my steps now only of love
Being a bit alone earlier when life was but without love
Touching the earth so pure, thankful is my touch to that lord above
Who made you shower your cares to this soul so lonely
Lonely as I was in the world of my literature
Lost as I was in the characters of the fiction
Finding as this heart was you it is so sure now
Now, being enlightened by the love of my world
Oh boy
This love has to be you..

Starting my day with waking up to your voice
Dressing up with shyness of this first love so lovely
Pure like the smile of a kid is this relationship we have nurtured
Closing my eyes with smile of open eyes
Perhaps this expression is something only you might feel
Stepping then out of the room of my memories of shared laughter
Party disappointed I move out towards the future of my life
From the future of my care n love..
Moving on then among the crowds tries this heart to look for your eyes
Tries to find you behind every tree thinking that you might be
Playing some trick..

Seeing you.. feeling you.. while walking thus I in every possible expression of love
Always feeling even more loved while pursuing those lovely words of your love
Wonder do I always when i think of you..how is you. and.made only of love
Excited this heart then moves on smiling somewhere hiding in front of the teachers
Somewhere among the group of friends
Somewhere still in my soul..staying as a lovely secret..
Oh boy
This joyful n secret love has to you..

Smiles out my heart with an intensity it has never known
touching my hand is every flower, fallen or budding, crushed or broken..
kissing are these lips now every sweet kid that passes by
loving Is this heart the nature of my lord completely
knowing this life is of love n happiness is this girl in me
blessed is she to have your love so unworldly
mysterious is this feeling of being in love
when it seems like you can never get enough
didn't know that my prayers were ever this strong
but
oh boy
this gifted love has to be you..

akanksha..

..
akanksha..

..
akanksha..